Bump

I got a little forward with Mister Neutrino, and got my feelins hurt. I'm ok now, but something bad happened. I was in the shelter and Imr came to make sure I was ok. I love that girl. She's always got my back, and I know she's one to trust. So she came in, and I got up to talk to her, and I said "bump". I'm not sure why I said it. I was lookin down at her. She responded "Bump?" and then she fell to the floor. Blood was EVERYWHERE and I watched her sufferin and bleedin' out all over the place. I tried to heal her, but couldn't. I shouted, but no one came. So, I ran to the bar, to get Chol, cause he's the best medic in the 'verse, and Imr's one of his girls too - and he came runnin.

She was still layin there. He tried to talk to her, but she couldn't move. Then Chol started yellin at ME to get out - of the shelter I am workin' in! I didn't go and he kept yellin at me to get out. Then he told Miss Amyla to watch me and not let me go anywhere. And he told Mr. Neutrino the same thing. Like I did something bad.

Later, he told me he plain don't trust me. That bad things happen when I'm around, people just get 'hurt' mysteriously. I feel less and less welcome in Blackburne with every passin' day. I offered to leave, but Miss Imr told me please to not go, and I told her I wouldn't but I don't know how long I can keep that word.

I didn't do anything to hurt her. I didn't even have any weapon drawn. All my weapons was still on my body, and I didn't have no fist fightin on - there is just no way I did anything that could have hurt her. And it happened _so fast_, it was like, saying the word 'bump' made her fall to the floor and just about die.

I'm afraid to get around anyone, afraid something bad will happen. Ain't no one understands me, and I ain't got no one to go to for comfort. I'm just waitin for Mr. Nack to tell me I'm not welcome to the bar anymore either. I already feel like an outcast, not being a dancer, and not even bein asked to be one on the amateur day. Now I'm being ostracized as some kind of bad luck charm.

If they only knew, the only thing keeping them from being...well, that doesn't really matter, I guess as long as I can stay, I will. I want to. I want to be part of the family. I thought I was. I don't think so anymre. You'd think Chol of all people would know what its like to be a little different. But he seems to think him being different should be just fine and dandy, but my bein' different is reason for not trustin. His own wife is a little more like me than he knows, and he don't have no trouble gettin close to her. And his girl Imr - well, she's got a touch of the colors, and there ain't nothin but trouble going to come from that.

Makes the drama of Mister Neutrino and his inability to give me what everyone says he's wantin' to give me pale by comparsion.