Catherine

I need a temporary respite.

I am turning control of the company over to my adopted daughter, Catherine.

Things have gotten out of control in Research division. I should not have reinstituted it. I should not have trusted _him_.

I will not make that mistake again. Can't really, seein' as he's not around to trust.

And now, the work begins. Again.

Still.

new directions

People wonder why I spend so much time in the Wastelands. Isn't it obvious? It is the last place I saw him. It is the last place I had hope. And now, it is the last place I will ever go again.

The guilt over Samuel has been eating me alive. And now, I am starting to think that I should end all of the research now. All of it.

Nothing good has come of any of it. Grandfather, dead. Mindo, Dead. Mother, locked away forever in what passes for living. Shadowbroker, Missing. Lily, Missing. AuroraBlue, unstable. The science, nothing but chaos.

The only thing that remains, that makes any sense, is to focus on keeping the supply of products up, and try to hold on until it happens. At the same time, I know I can fix it. I know I can.

I just don't know if I want to.

Tonight I met with some new customers, and have arranged for the sale of some product in new markets. They are getting a good product at a good price. And I am helping destroy the parts of the Core that made so many things possible - so many things like Grandfather, dead. mindo, Dead. Mother, locked away forever in what passes for living. Shadowbroker, Missing. Lily, Missing. AuroraBlue, unstable.

Nothing but chaos.

And now, I find that Ardra is not a stranger after all....

Samuel

I was going to tell him.

I was.

Now it's too late.


((the story of the destruction of the Destiny enclave can be found at the blog of Cody Winterwolf. I told him the story .....he can't tell anyone, but if you're interested....))

Miss Fargis

is likely to be in a heap of trouble soon. Lily is becoming more and more suspicious.
Me? As if I don't have enough trouble, with Krenshar breathing down my neck.

"Tell me, what was I" he insists. And I'm just about ready to tell him. I mean, I have no choice really, now do I. One way or another, he will find out.

And then what.

According to Plan

A number of visitors to my office leads me to believe that someone may know more than they are saying about the little item that is missing from Lily's house. I think its time for me to pay a visit. What is it they say about greeks bearing gifts....

On another more cheerful note, brother dears will is being read today. The company attorneys are such weasels, delaying things until they get their pound of flesh from him. I think some people will be in for a surprise, but then maybe he changed things since our agreement. Who knows.

The riots and looting in the town seem to have calmed some, but there are Alliance troops positively every where. You'd think the feeling of dread that comes every time I see that familiar shade of purple would fade, it being almost three years now, and Major Pepper having cancelled the "one day" I owed them. You'd think. But it's not fading. It has become, if anything, stronger, and I can taste the bile rising up in my throat when I am forced, because of some stupid "agreement" to talk to them.

And then there is Anna.

Am I his keeper?

I have done all that I can do to help Mindo. He has gone to far this time.

He has raided my apartment, and stolen clothing. CLOTHING. Shampoo. Perfume. Makeup. I know it was him because the security feed showed him coming, and going. And when he left he had pinned three of my skirts around him, in some grotesque parody of me.

He has truly gone too far.

I know enough to get this sorted out, with Ardra and Lily. I do not need him. In fact, I am convinced he is truly dangerous. Not just deluded and crazy but dangerous. I need to talk to Seana about it. He needs to be sent away. Locked up. Permanently. He convinces them he is 'well' every time; they release him, and the next antic is worse than the one that landed him in trouble in the first place.

No mattter what I do how much I try to help him, he hates me. And if he knew what I'd done to Lily, and to Krenshar, he'd hate me more. I let him think he controls so many things, including me.

Oh. He's at the door now. He's just landed outside my place, and he's motioning to me up here to come and "look what I have". The man has dyed his hair red.

I best go see what this is about. If I don't come back, well, assume the worst. I get a powerful sense of confusion from that man, but I can't not go down there. I can see Lily just sittin' there, and him, all gussied up .....in some bizarre approximation of what he must think is me. What's he up to. Surely he doesn't expect people to think he's me.

I've let him believe he was in control of so many things. Maybe thats part of the problem. It stops now. Time to confront the truth. If only he wasn't wearing my skirts.

Better Days

There was an explosion in the lab. Lily and Gallagher were doing who knows what, and the next thing I knew, there was smoke, fire and one broken device.

I haven't seen her since. Nor him. Maybe they ran off together. Wouldn't be the first time the the Doctor has taken Lily for an adventure. Timin' couldn't be worse.

I paid a visit to one Mercedes Celestalis' office, to discuss a business matter with her. She was not in. There was, however, a note addressed to Lily, and some familiar looking containers. I took them, figuring I could give them to Lily back at Hales if they checked out safe enough.

They didn't. The twins, named Shiny and Specialness, looked like Lily. Likely they could have been created from eggs taken from her during the short time she had some organic functioning. Wouldn't be past Mindo to have extracted them "for the future". I'd ask him but he's still unconscious from the explosion. That presents another set of problems, as I need him to unwire these guns from my forearms. I didn't need them after all, but better prepared than not.

I'm weak from the process, though, and that's not good. Not good at all. I've had to take a lot more rests. It's good I've relocated in Destiny. It's a good place to hide. I can sit on my porch and look out, and its not easy to see me from just about anywhere.

The red egg in the jar, well it was labelled a host, and the most likely donor there, again, is likely to be someone Lily knows, if not Lily herself. The woman, Mercedes, challenged her to guess who it is. That ain't gonna happen cause I've sent the specimen off, to keep it safe. Last thing Lily needs is gettin' mixed up with that lot of folk. Anyway, I think running it thru a scanner is a better idea. If there's code in there I recognise, then its pretty sure its from the cub. That's not as serious as it sounds, as that material will self-destruct. But if it's not. ...if its someone real...a real, whole, complete chunk of material - and its someone Lily knows - who knows what she would want to do with it.

I told Miya about torching the specimen in her lab. I shouldn't have done it. I don't know if she believed me about why I did it, and how it happened, all so fast, but I hope she did. It's true. I respect Miya. She's a good scientist and could be a good friend, if'n I allowed myself to have friends. As it is, I keep her, and everyone just about, on the outside, just a bit. Safer. For them.

The new offices are coming along nicely. Miss Emma is, as always, doing a wonderful job of keep track of this and that - and Toby is learning to work the desk Lily did a nice job setting up the place. She even put in a one way mirror for me. Course, she forgot to put my name on some of the alarms so I can't really get a good read on the place remotely, but as I'm stayin right upstairs, how remote do I need?

Saw Cody tonight. He's not seen Lily either. But we both can see a huge Firefly class ship shes towed back to the moon It's just sittin there. She ain't painted the name on it, but I heard she's calling it Aldea II.

Kind of like me. Sitting. Watching'. Waiting.

Brothers

Mindo is back.

Unannounced.


Great.

The Tock is Clicking

Tick Tock
Tick Tock
Merrily goes the clock.

It is a clever game, an intricate dance, an elaborate ritual - played by robots, AIs, scientists and sometimes, if you are lucky, the pieces fall into place and all you have to do is pick them up.

I am not so lucky in this case. While the pieces are as they have always been, there are still ways in which the plan could be disrupted. In particular, one Mister Krenshar Magic.

I am not sure he realizes, and at the same time, I am certain he does. She is, after all, his daughter. And he should, one would hope, do the right thing.

Thats the thing about giving them their own will. They can make decisions.

Lily has made hers.

AuroraBlue made hers.

Let's see what Krenshar will do when put to the test.

If things go well, things will truly be as they should be. At least for the time being.

If they do not, then nothing I have written will matter as there will be no one left alive to one day find my book and read it.

The sand was delivered. Nothing in the 'Verse can stop it now. War is Coming.

Only this time, we will be ready.

Putting things in order

The Christmas Walk is now just a memory. Hundreds of people went through it, and I would say it was a success. Always good to see people smiling.

Lily is safe and home. So Seana is smiling. That means Sabrina is smiling too. That's good.

Aurora is...well, she is no more. Everyone can breathe a bit more easily, at least until Krenshar finds out. Not sure how he will take the news. Still, it was an accident. Sheriff Gallagher will attest to that. No one saw anything that even remotely resembled foul play.

Imrhien has returned to town. She is in fine form. Glad to be shot of the responsibility of flying someone else's ship, and looking for all the world like the pilot she was born to be. I might see if she wants to work for us. We could use a good pilot. Well, I could use a good pilot. A lot of things coming up that are going to require someone with a rather special skillset. Now that her head's clear, could be she's the right one for the job. If not, well, its good to see her home anyway.

Krenshar is well settled into his compound. Seems he's got a lot of activity over there. I resist the urge to see what he's up to. I probably don't want to know. Unfortunately, just keeping my eyes off his business is not enough to keep me separate from it. I just hope he does not go totally mad. Its quite possible he will understand. In fact, if things are going as planned, not only will he understand but he will help with the next things.

General has kept a lid on any trouble that might try to brew around the landing pads. Lucky for the few who did come in without giving the tower a hail first, he also spent a lot of time resting. Sleeping in fact. Seems quite comfortable up there in Seana's office. Maybe he should think about taking a job up there. He's got a sharp eye and he's trustworthy.

Sobi and Jade are gone. You could see that one coming. He was not meant to settle in one place, and she needed to see the world. You'd think she'd had seen enough of it but, well, lets say you could just see it coming. Vaya Con Dios my friend. Safe travels and safe returns.

Word is Lilia is going to be takin' on some of the bar work. She's a good woman. Good manager. Cute too. Sassy. I like that. If I wasn't already committed to seeing things through with a certain Commander, I might be tempted to see if that one would like to keep me some company.

But, love is a funny thing. Some people can be in love and still experiences all the delights the 'Verse has to offer. Seems to work for them real good. Others, once they feel the Love Bug bite, they are hooked like a fish could be hooked on good hook. Don't even mind the pain. I'm one of the latter. Still, time to time I still see something or someone that captures my attention. Never lasts. I don't let it. I know you are likely to go where you look. So, I don't look on anywhere near a regular basis.

Miss Jai is in transit. Again. Not sure what to make of that one. Still, she's a good source of information. And her friend Deese, well she's right comely.

That handsome Sheriff Gallagher has been lurking around quite a bit. I do not know what Lily sees in him. Well, I do but I can't believe what I see. He's crass, prone to using the law to his own advantage, and is about as cold as a cold stone. In fact, the only time I've ever seen him be kind was to Lily come to think of it. He's awfully protective of her. But he's a hard one to get a handle on. I'm sure he's one of the good guys, so other than running the occasional check on his activities, I think its pretty safe to just let him have free access to the facilities. Not that I could stop him anyway.

Emma has done a great job keeping the office in order. Don't know what I'd do without that girl. I wish I'd been able to keep her better housed and better paid. Maybe this year things will pick up. Since taking the company in the direction of research rather than manufacturing, funds have been tight. I'm seriously thinking about bringing some of our factory holdings back, reactiviating some of the employees. I see that food here on Hales is getting in shorter and shorter supply. I can't see putting Emma to work as a farmer, but she could manage a factory along with her other duties. It would all be automated anyway.

Nack and his crew continue to run the Friendliest Bar in the 'Verse, and I seen Sentry and Lorie are now working there. That Nack has a way with business, you know. He's a fine fellow. Seein' Lorie hooked up with Sentry was kind of a surprise but a good one. He seems like a good enough sort.

I need to spend some time with Miss Miya. I think we have some common interests, at least that is the impression I got during the time Sanctuary was in this section of the Verse. Since its due to reenter here real soon now, I won't wait too long.

Things are all pretty much sorted.

It's time to honour my promise. One day with Miss Pepper. She has questions. I have answers.
And, although I know she is one of "them" what I left all that time ago, so as not to end up like my mother, I also think there is a depth to her that includes more than a desire to rise in rank.

I guess I will see.

Well, of course I will see. How could I not.

The question is, what will I see? And has she really thought this through? Taking me, even for a short period of time, into the most 'secret' of secret places. It is said that when Uncle Simon broke my mother out of the facility, that first time, the men who managed it received a visit from an Operative.

I hope the same does not happen to Major Pepper.

Yearly Duties

The Christmas Walk was successful. Lily did a nice job implementing my design. She added a few things here and there, but for the most part it's exactly as I pictured it. It reminds me of happier times.

Mindo's memory game seemed quite popular. I have to get it packed up and shipped back to him. I wonder if I will see him before the end of the year. In some ways I would like to see him, in other ways, I wish he would just disappear and stay gone. The last I heard he actually was infatuated with the doctor over on the Drift. I'm not surprised. She has red hair after all, and Mindo has his little fetishes.

Imrhien is still in absentia. Mindo won't tell me where he left her. I worry for her constantly, but am helpless to do anything to help her.

And, then there is Pepper. Major Pepper, of the Alliance Special Investigations Unit, to whom I must submit myself for a day. I wonder if that day will ever come, and if it will ever end.

Of course, it will never end.

Open House

The office move is completed, just waiting for the furniture.

The Compound is coming along nicely, and two of the units are rented.

The transportation system was delayed, due to some sort of problem with the Dharma folks needing to focus their efforts elsewhere, but I'm assured things will proceed and be completed without any further delays.

This is all good.

Not so good, Cody. Cody seems to be having some effect on Lily. I've warned him to stay away from her. With any luck, this will make him try to see her in secret, and I can observe her reactions without other complicating factors.

Everything is proceeding according to plan. Even Emma has joined Special Projects Division.

The only thing missing is a certain golden coin.

Where are you hiding, little one? Do the slavers know what they have?

I tracked them to Botany Bay and the intel I picked up there both spoken and unspoken was enough to indicate that while I likely could manage to get to her, and maybe even extricate her, this would happen again and again unless a strong signal was received by her "hosts".

It was not the sort of signal that benefit us all long term. So, I went to the best person for the job. Seana Kawanishi. Mayor of Hale's Moon. Lily's adopted "mother". Auroras....guardian.

Seana said she will deal with them. I have to wonder, does she have any idea what they have?

Somehow I think she does. Or she soon will.

Imrhien

She insisted she had to take Mindo to the institution.

She insisted.

Now she's missing, he's missing, and no one seems to give a damn - after all, he's not wanted and she's a free woman havin' taken her leave from the confines of MacLaren's.

My real question is, who took who?

Special Projects

Mindo did not make it to the institution.

He and the pilot are missing, and have been since the day they were supposed to arrive there.

No one told me because I was otherwise occupied trying to get Krenshar away from the Alliance.

Some deals you just have to make. One day of my life doesn't seem like such a price to pay for getting Krenshar out without them having the chance to look more closely at him. They had only managed to get the brain out. They hadn't made it to the core code. Even if they had, they wouldn't have had time to unravel it.

So he's safe.

Me, I'm waiting for Major Pepper Siamendes to tell me "we had a deal".

Speaking of Mindo...

...the Magnificient. A Legend in his own mind. That's not fair, actually. His mind is...complicated. I think a lot of the time he isn't even aware of who he is, or where he is. He appears to be almost driven, in some out of control desire to fix someone or something. It has always been this way.

Word has it he's been spotted on the Drift, hiding out in the hills. He's not been causing any trouble, so I've just put him out of my mind, until now.

But now, I need to bring him in. Lily has been disappearing a lot. I don't know if she's spending time with Mindo, or if she's just off on a hunt, or what. I just know she is not around very much at all. And, last night, Seana mentioned that when she *is* around, she seems to be digging, almost obsessively.

That is not good. That is not good at all.

Add to this mix of events my trip to Caliban. Krenshar has been "experimenting" with various organics, and finding them "messy". I asked him to show me his lab, and he did. It was more like a slaughterhouse. Caliban is a dangerous place. I went unarmed and unafraid. Fear has no place in my mind, not now. The replicant seems to be looking for something to 'fix' Lily and the cub.

Seems we have the same goal. Isn't that interesting.

Let's hope I don't have to resort to the same methods.

I did make Krenshar a little promise. Something that I think he might like to get ahold of. Someone actually. I don't know how I feel about that. Mostly I feel nothing.

But its time. Now I just have to find him.

Where are you hiding, Little Boy?

She's started digging

Last night I stopped in Fook's, just to check up on "things" in general. Sabrina was there with Seana. Seeing her took me a bit by surprise. I always forget the effect she has on me. There is something about her that is so mesmerizing, so ...I don't know what it is actually. It's just always been that way, since the first time I saw her sitting on a little round cushion at Firefly's, back in Blackburne.

There she was, all by herself, wearing jeans and a shirt, not all dressed up by any means. Yet she was the most beautiful woman in the place. She had an intensity in her eyes that her big glasses didn't even begin to hide, rather they magnified. She was so...thoughtful. I could almost watch her mind working. Well, truth be told, I could, but I did not allow myself to do it.

Last night was the same. Seeing her triggers a lot of memories of Blackburne. But they are my memories. I can't take in all of the rest. It's just too much. For now.

People think because I have a good intuition or can "read" that its just something I do all the time. Truth be told, I rarely do it intentionally. It took years for me to be able to do it intentionally. Initially, it would come as flashes of just knowing things. It wasn't until I was halfway through my time under Neutrino's command that I began to have more control over the "knowing".

Maybe such things are just not supposed to happen until you need them to. And there is no doubt I needed to know, to survive. If I hadn't read what was going to happen in the next seven days before I was released from my Alliance internship, I would have stayed right there on that ship. If I would have stayed, I would not be here today. I'd be under the glass , with her, or I'd be not here at all.

I wouldn't be here today to try to find out what it is that drives them to the things they do to us. What do they want? Who *are* they? It's not just Grandfather and the company. Yes, he co-founded the company. And yes, they do all of these experiments. But there is more to it than that. Why is a replicant - one that supposedly has nothing to do with us - so concerned with Blue Sun projects. Why did Mindo select Seana Kawanishi's DNA to be the human female DNA for AuroraBlue?

And speaking of Mindo. ...

Too many cooks

..spoil the soup they say. In the case of the soup over in Fook Yoo's, they must have had at least a dozen or more cooks. It is the most awful thing I have ever tasted in my entire life. And, I made the mistake of saying so to the cook - LilyBell Snoodle - who looked more angry than hurt. If she only knew how it is for me to look at her, and just continue about business as if everything is the same. Nothing is the same. Nothing will ever be the same.

Mindo is on the loose, who knows where, but last I heard he was seen on a freighter heading for Prosperity. What he thinks he will do there I have no idea. True, he's not wanted for anything. He's broken no law. He's got no warrants out for him. Even if he did, I'm sure he'd manage to get them "taken care of". He seems to always manage, somehow. But just the fact that he's out there, planning and scheming some way to "fix" ...well. it just makes my blood run cold, and it takes a lot to accomplish that.

Aurora, minus Blue, made it safetly to Ariel. I plan to visit her right soon, as I need to make sure everything is working right. She's carrying a very important piece of technology, although to her its just a shiny pretty thing with her baby picture engraved on it. She's only what...maybe six years old physiologically now, and psychologically probably about the same. The coin only ranges to somewhere in early puberty, so there is time....if nothing happens to push things in a bad direction. All the biotech experiments in the world couldn't have anticipated what's happened here. Aurora is actually "loved".

That has the potential to change everything.

I've hired Emma, a local girl, to keep an eye on things for me. I've got Lily digging - mostly just to keep her busy and out of trouble and stop her sneaking around and spying on me - and building some rail track which I'll likely replace before the train is even completed. She's strong, and never tires, so something that keeps her good and busy is a good thing. I saw her walking through the town with a young Alliance officer last week. That concerns me. But, she's not really my concern. She's Seana's. Thats just the way it is.

Nack has put a pleasure bot chip in his warbot, which brings to mind images I could just as well do without. He's a stubborn one, Mister Barnes, a very stubborn one. Good thing he's got his girls to keep him in line. That does remind me, I saw the old scavenger Tarlek was camped back outside Firefly's. Something about him troubles me. I don't think he's a bad man, but I don't think he's the most stable man and for some reason, Lily has taken to inviting him to come over for "tea parties". So far he hasn't come, but what if he does? Next thing you know he will be piling his "scraps" outside BlueSun, and won't that just be peachy.

I need to talk with the local doctor, Gallagher, about Dharma's continued involvement in the Rail project. I need some actual physical labour, and seems a lot of local folks don't really want to work over here on the BlueSun Corporate Holdings. Maybe that will change as we expand into the main town. The recreational area is on hold, because I simply can't find anyone to work here. I suppose I can bring people in, but I really didn't want to do that.

Personal life ways, Nene and me ain't no closer to resolving our differences now than we were before I took up residence here. I ain't even shown him the house I had put up. My girl Emma is living in it mostly, I'm spending most nights in my office. She seems like a good sort, so I've put in a few things I would have waited on - hot water for the bath, special medically equipped soft cozy bed. Just hope she doesn't have occasion to use it.

Transitions

If anyone asks me, AuroraBlue LittleBoots is doing just fine. She comes and goes like any child might, and isn't showing any signs of being 'different' other than the spots - like her mother's - that come and go. She is growing a bit more at a small acceleration compared to children per se, but all in all, nothing out of the ordinary.

She is just fine.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Now, time to find Mindo and put him away where he can't contradict me. Or hurt anyone else. It's time for him to get the help he needs, and if he fights me, I will take him down. I'm not going to dance around him any longer. No more trying to convince, coddling, reasoning with the criminally insane.

His reign will end.

When it rains...

The stage is set. All the players are in place. The only question is, will good win over evil?
I hope so.

I don't know them well but I have come to see goodness in the citizens of Hale's. Oh, they are an interesting lot to be sure. But good people. Things are happening fast. Faster than I thought they would. A young girl from Hales, name of Jai, told me AuroraBlue had said "xyz". Several times. She said it. I can't believe she said it. I never thought she would say it.

Mindo escaped as I hoped he would. And, he ran for the mines, as I knew he would. And he disappeared - something that would worry me if I had not injected him with a tracking device prior to bringing him in.

Seana knows. She knows. She took Lily on as her own daughter. She has the legal right to make the decision. But the moral right? That's less clear.

I know this. I won't let Mindo make the decision. I won't. I'll kill him first.

Killing. All this killing. Lily wants to end AuroraBlue. It wants to end her, and Mindo. Mindo, he wants to be God. And me? I just want the noises in my head to stop.

Lily ....You have grown into such a beautiful young woman. You really have. You.. Really...Have.

Back to business. Mindo has the key. He *will* give it to me. And we'll take it from there.

Where is wisdom?

Imrhien

I saw Imrhien and her man, name of Duncan, yesterday. And, being as we've been through so much, I wasn't expecting her to be so hesitant to take a key to my place. But, hesitant she was. It took her a while to comprehend it all, I think. The last person in the world she expected to see was me. Well, maybe not the last, but one of the least likely. And the last place on earth she'd expect to see me would be in front of the family business, specially seein' as I'd disowned them and they me.

But there we were.

The towns people seem happy enough to have us back, which surprises me somewhat. Maybe other people don't hate Blue Sun as much as I've come to hate Blue Sun. But then again, they didn't grow up watching it destroy everyone and everything they loved. In fact, they probably actually learned *to* love, because they didn't have the shadow of the qing ri following them around like some dark day.

Me, maybe I was making some attempt to make up for Mindo's madness. Maybe I wanted to be closer to mother. Maybe I wanted to stop running. Maybe I even missed Nene. That last one, well, not likely, but maybe.

So, anyway...Imrhien. She's the same. More wary, but the same. And she tells me someone tried to grab her, to take her to Blue Sun. Thats not likely. I'd know. There's no where else they'd bring her but here. And no one else they'd bring her to, but me.

Unless..unless when the facility under Shadow was dismantled, some of the workers decided to take "thing" into their own hands. Even so, Mindo was safe. Grandfather at least appears to be stable. Mother will arrive soon. One big happy family.